I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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