White coat. Heels.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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