NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
