Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
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in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
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Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.