i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.