I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
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he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
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That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.