He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
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as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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