She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
