Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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