Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
there's paper in my vomit.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
