Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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