How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
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