she woke up with a sticky ear
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Randomize
