Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
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