Texts From Last Night

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  (702): View more from Nevada

  He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.

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  (702): He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out. http://tfl.nu/lsxk
  Replies (18) Good night (3508) Bad night (1848)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways

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  (904): we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways http://tfl.nu/vdwk
  Replies (6) Good night (4301) Bad night (1282)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.

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  (520): New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do. http://tfl.nu/6kks
  Replies (9) Good night (2264) Bad night (874)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.

  (1-919): View more from North Carolina

  Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.

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  (919): I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process. (1-919): Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop. http://tfl.nu/dsex
  Replies (3) Good night (4478) Bad night (1016)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you

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  (503): you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you http://tfl.nu/l62c
  Replies (4) Good night (2265) Bad night (1220)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great

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  (978): It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great http://tfl.nu/o9gd
  Replies (6) Good night (2440) Bad night (700)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now

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  (910): She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now http://tfl.nu/y52f
  Replies (2) Good night (1299) Bad night (628)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man

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  (616): Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man http://tfl.nu/3epz
  Replies (6) Good night (526) Bad night (1168)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."

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  (832): I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung." http://tfl.nu/1h35
  Replies (14) Good night (1940) Bad night (622)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar

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  (408): We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar http://tfl.nu/h9fi
  Replies (1) Good night (585) Bad night (431)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.

  (269): View more from Michigan

  That should be the title of my autobiography.

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  (716): Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass. (269): That should be the title of my autobiography. http://tfl.nu/pdg7
  Replies (3) Good night (1150) Bad night (481)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.

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  (415): turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world. http://tfl.nu/96m9
  Replies (3) Good night (641) Bad night (359)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?

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  (716): It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before? http://tfl.nu/zugc
  Replies (2) Good night (446) Bad night (505)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.

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  (812): We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics. http://tfl.nu/9g6f
  Replies (1) Good night (798) Bad night (257)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.

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  (530): What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans. http://tfl.nu/ymat
  Replies (0) Good night (313) Bad night (278)

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