just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?