Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.

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(832): Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now. http://tfl.nu/5w4p

Replies (9) Good night (782) Bad night (1170)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.

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(610): Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore. http://tfl.nu/f91d

Replies (55) Good night (7410) Bad night (1341)
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(207): View more from Maine

she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race

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(207): she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race http://tfl.nu/f3bd

Replies (17) Good night (708) Bad night (3494)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.

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(603): I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning. http://tfl.nu/y7jt

Replies (7) Good night (2326) Bad night (947)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.

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(403): Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice. http://tfl.nu/ol36

Replies (10) Good night (3604) Bad night (1162)
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(406): View more from Montana

He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.

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(406): He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana. http://tfl.nu/b27k

Replies (9) Good night (3209) Bad night (964)
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(647): View more from Ontario

Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics

(416): View more from Toronto

But that's half the fun of it

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(647): Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics (416): But that's half the fun of it http://tfl.nu/vf29

Replies (6) Good night (2546) Bad night (827)
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(770): View more from Georgia

Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me

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(770): Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me http://tfl.nu/jae3

Replies (5) Good night (684) Bad night (1487)
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(205): View more from Alabama

...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.

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(205): ...i'd have to set their sheets on fire. http://tfl.nu/qae8

Replies (2) Good night (955) Bad night (643)
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(415): View more from California

You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.

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(415): You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink. http://tfl.nu/i804

Replies (1) Good night (464) Bad night (1206)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.

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(423): I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax. http://tfl.nu/e9ya

Replies (10) Good night (751) Bad night (670)
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(613): View more from Ontario

That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.

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(613): That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover. http://tfl.nu/as9t

Replies (1) Good night (821) Bad night (308)
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(816): View more from Missouri

He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.

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(816): He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off. http://tfl.nu/akk3

Replies (1) Good night (768) Bad night (432)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands

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(610): This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands http://tfl.nu/sjql

Replies (3) Good night (382) Bad night (500)
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(765): View more from Indiana

I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire

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(765): I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire http://tfl.nu/j01j

Replies (1) Good night (378) Bad night (254)

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