she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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