My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
