I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.