It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games