Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.