just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize