BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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