I like to think it a success when the cops are called
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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