why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
