Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
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Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance