so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.