How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.