Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
a search helicopter?!
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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