she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
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