The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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