this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
