i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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