you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
