he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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