Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
kristin has been a bad kristin
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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