Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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