that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
