so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize