I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize