I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize