when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize