I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
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Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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