they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
