The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
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