Sry I called you an 8
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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