I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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