id be glad to
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
