My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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