ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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