Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
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