i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
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we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
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So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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