So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
