Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize