In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize