i just google imaged poop.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
