we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
