Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize