I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
